The pain of a miscarriage is a deep wound indeed.

While God has spared my wife and me that agony, we have walked beside others who have endured this unwelcome journey. I wrote a poem, actually two poems, for a friend (I’ll call him Charles) after he told us his story. Today’s post is a little unusual for me, as I believe art should stand on its own merit, but I hope you’ll indulge my digression into the backstory of this particular piece.

After years of trying, including fertility drugs and other treatments, Charles and Susan had nearly given up hope. On the eve of her follow-up appointment, Susan took two pregnancy tests with expectation; both were negative. She went to sleep fitfully, weeping and burdened. Later that night, Charles came to bed after working late into the evening. He laid his hand gently on her stomach and began to pray a passionate, emotional, and heartfelt prayer. His eyes and heart fatigued from battle, he drifted off to sleep.

The next day, Susan went to her scheduled doctor’s appointment as planned. She later called Charles somberly and whispered that they needed to talk. On his way home, he prepared for another sob session in the arms of his bride. Instead, he was warmly greeted with surprise news: Based on a blood test, Susan was most definitely pregnant!

her wet face is dry now

pain is still fresh

seeking

trying

emotions are spent

deepest desires

fall on deaf ears

hurting

crying

can’t find the tears

God i’m still asking

i want you to hear

trying so hard now

to face all my fears

passion inside me

as i humbly draw near

facing

flowing

loving

i just want you to hear

a touch and a prayer

i long to cry out

knowing

sighing

my pain i lay down

my words are a whisper

deep longings are known

laughing

smiling

your faithfulness shown

I wish I could say that was the end of the story. Unfortunately, a few days later, my dear friend shared the disappointing news that Susan had an early miscarriage. My heart broke for them. I can scarce imagine the darkness of the pain after such elating news only a few days prior.

a bitter disappointment

is like gall on the tongue

an answered prayer

retracted as quickly

gone before hope had begun

burning in my throat

after heaving sob on sobs

in deep fatigue

is this hollow pit

in my ears my heartbeat throbs

a celebration cut short

with tears of deep ache

our countless joy

is joy no more

i quiver an uncontrollable shake

but hope hangs on daintily

like chalk on the sidewalk after rain

the faded image of joy

a distant hope almost seen

a longing that sees through my pain

It’s unusual for me to share the inspiration for my writing, but I thought it was important for you to know the backstory so you could pray effectively. So, will you join me in praying for our friends? Feel free to pray for them by name… (I’m sure that God can transliterate “Charles” and “Susan” into their real names.) I’m deeply moved by their heart for God and their desire to bring a new life to this world, so I desperately intercede on their behalf. We know we have eternal hope in Christ, but Charles and Susan are weary from battle, and need to be lifted up before our Maker, to be restored, to be renewed, and, hopefully, someday, to be blessed with children.

Grace and peace,

Delton